Past Musings

James Randi and a psychic artist


Now this psychic reading, back in the day, didn’t go well at all. Bless this old lady, bless bless bless her!


Crossing over with John Edward



If Satan had a son – he would be would be called Satan Jr…but that’s beside the point. John Edward calls himself a ‘medium’ when we all know he is a bit of an ‘extra small’. Again beside the point. The man is an idiot who manipulates and should be burnt at the stake – okay perhaps that’s a bit too dramatic – maybe just a lashing of sorts. Check out this parody that sums up what he’s up to.

RealityLAPSE – by MOI


Reality tv chicken 2

It’s Sunday morning and there is a hint of closterphobia in the air – I open a window, much better. It is now replaced with excitement!  I pack a bag filled with my oversized Woolies, 100%, cotton pyjamas, my hot water bottle, make a stop at the golden arches for my super sized – ‘buy in bulk and save’ – meal and ring the doorbell of my friend Jennie’s parent’s home. They have PVR and have recorded all my programmes of the week and I am ready for a marathon of TV watching. On the playlist:  Keeping up with the Kardashians, Kourtney and Khloe take Miami, Girls of the Playboy Mansion, Holly’s World, Kendra, Survivor Micronesia and Idols – I have instructed them not to tape Big Brother All Stars anymore – too boring, not enough sex, violence and strong language- it’s a waste of my precious time. I settle into the couch, disappearing every now and again between the pillows, Jennie’s mom checks my vitals and concludes that I am still breathing. I confirm this by managing to lift my arm and eat a chip that had landed between the crevices of the couch – I’m still alive, but she will need to check again in an hour or so. Inside I am bubbling with excitement. I want to be a Kardashian. I want to have a pool party at the Playboy Mansion. I want to outwit, outlast, outplay on a beautiful island in a mystical land called Micronesia (never heard of it, but I am learning new things as the day progresses. In The Kardashians – I learnt all about the dangers of being late for a photo shoot and how it could compromise your career – I am learning fast but I have a long way to go).


Something unexpected suddenly happens- my phone rings. I am confused. The last time I was interrupted like this was during an episode of The Amazing Race Asia a few months earlier. My vision became impaired, suddenly the characters I had gotten to know so well, started becoming blurry. I was convinced my eye-sight had been permanently affected and that I would have to start listening to the radio instead, or worse – go for walks. I let out a blood curdling scream and Jennie’s mom came running to my assistance. She hugged me and told me it was the sun shining through the windows and reflecting on the television, as I hadn’t closed the curtains. I was not convinced. She closed the curtains and she was right, I will never make that mistake twice! I had hoped that one of these interruptions would not happen again soon, I was wrong- my phone is ringing and I can’t hear Kendra talking about her pole dancing. What will I do? I start becoming increasingly emotional when suddenly the ringing stops. Thank God, it was too close though and Jennie’s brother, who is so tall I have never had the energy to look up to his face, so I have no way of telling if it actually was him, helps me by switching my phone to silent. Idols is about to start and I can barely contain myself. I attempt to let out a ‘whoohoo’ but all that I can manage is a ‘who’. Jennie’s mom comes running into the room again, ‘who what?’ she asks. I am too tired to reply. She hands me an energy drink and holds it up to my mouth, I manage a sip and my strength is immediately replenished and I am ready for my last programme of the day.


They are slowly fazing out Liezl van der Westhuizen and a man named Proverb (I tell Jennie’s mom that I think he is from the Bible- she grunts at me and cleans up the energy drink I spilled) introduces the show. Something is going terribly wrong. As the show progresses, I find myself going trough a myriad of emotions. A smorgasbord of feelings if you will and I will- I did! I feel different than I did watching the American reality shows, I am more invested. I really feel for these would-be, fledgling Idols. One of the Idols, a young woman in a wheelchair suddenly collapses. The camera shows her passed out backstage being resuscitated by a team of medics. She is rushed off in an ambulance. I am in tears, which I know is dangerous as I have not taken in enough fluids and am worried that I myself will pass out. Next they show a young man who hopes to win the show as it would mean a way out of poverty for him and his family. They show pictures of his baby daughter. I sense how the show is manipulating me and I am playing along, but it is different to other talent searches. It’s geographical. There is so much more at stake in South Africa. I gather my last bit of energy and explain to Jennie’s mom that in South Africa where we only have the very rich and the very poor, with very little in-between a show like this is morally questionable. Jennie’s mom is not in the room when I say this but I know I am right. The show ends with one of the judges handing a contestant R20 to buy food as he is hungry. I realise I too am hungry. Jennie’s mom hands me R20 and encourages me to leave. I am exhausted. I go home and decide to unwind by watching Ultimate Survival- Bear Grills teaches me how to drink my own pee out of a snake’s skin if I am thirsty. I make a mental note to remember that next Sunday.

But he’s gay…I mean blind


But he's gay

Let’s face it, mistaking a gay man for a blind person and vice versa happens to the best of us…not really…ever actually. What was this woman thinking?! Bad footage though – apologies.

Athlone Towers – bye bye



Everybody (not just a song by the Backstreet Boys) posted a link on the Athlone Towers today but this link is by far the hottest- done by Zootee Productions – the hottest lil production company on the market. Check this out.

Dramatic Animals



Here is a series of dramatic clips from the very theatrical animal kingdom. My friend got me started on the chipmunk and now there is no turning back.

BP Spills Coffee



Due to a series of unforseen events, BP has spilt coffee. This horrendous ‘accident’ might lead to the coffee reaching the end of the table and spilling onto the carpet, or even worse, onto the laps of people around the table. How will BP handle this?

Will Ferrell’s landlord.



Anyone who rents a flat, house, studio, kennel- anything- knows that most landlords are to be avoided like the plague. They’re all out to get us!! But Will Ferrell’s landlord is not to be messed with. This lady is off the hook, in fact, there never even was a hook- a hook- never seen one!

Mel Miller in da house!


Mel miller

If there was a King of Comedy award, the recipient would surely be Mel Miller. Timeless, adored, and enormously funny, this giant of stand-up has been tickling the funny bones of South Africans for years and years. Mel has been crossing the (sometimes delicate) lines of age, culture and colour for as long as we can remember; and his audiences continue to thrive on his particular brand of humour. You just can’t help yourself!

And this Godfather of SA comedy is gracing the stage at Stardust Theatrical Dining on Wednesday 18 August. Not only will this legend be in da house but he will be joined by Cape Town’s favourite comedian, Kurt Schoonraad, magician Russel Fox and that sassy lady from Seapoint, Tracy Klass.

So if you haven’t booked your ticket yet call 021 6866280 now.

iPhone4 VS HTC Evo



The war of phones is upon us- the iPhone4 vs HTC Evo. Now, I might be the last person to talk about phones, seeing as I have the phone that Noah used to contact the animals – one of the first Nokias, but I can explain: I only get an upgrade every two years and my phone gets stolen at least once a year, so next year I’m onto a Crackberry, which I hope to enjoy for at least 11 months, but for now it’s all about pixelated screens and increasing my top score in Snake 1. Nevertheless, there is a war out there so here’s what you need to choose between the new iPhone4 and the HTC Evo, because that’s how I roll.  Hope this helps.

Back in the day